With an average of more than 8 million people travelling per day on airlines, you would expect passengers to be considerate of each others ever shrinking space, however, plane rage is on the rise due to thoughtless or simply ignorant travellers.
Here are our top 12 reasons fellow air travellers are pissing us off. If you are guilty of any of the following, there is still time to reform! Airline Etiquette for Dummies.
12. Too much Perfume / Cologne
Did you take a bath in your perfume? We can smell you from the front of the plane and you are at the back! This is a real faux pas which many people do not realise they are committing. It is horrible to sit beside a person who has tried to covered up body odor or has simply piled on too much perfume.
11. Watching Videos / Movies on PD’s without headphones
Seriously, do you really think we want to listen to your (insert genre here) movie, video or music? Some of us like to sleep, read and/or watch and listen to our own media. Use earphones please!
10. Stinky Feet
You know that moment when an awful smell attacks your nose and you look around to see your seat neighbor has removed his shoes. Yuck! PLEASE, leave your shoes on if you have a foot odor problem!
9. Talking during the Flight Attendant’s Safety Demonstration
Come on! You must be so full of yourself to chatter away during the obligatory in flight safety announcement. Shut up already. We all know when something goes wrong, you are the first to scream that nobody told you… STFU!
8. Flatulence – yes Farting and Burping
Hey dude, that is raunchy! Avoid those nasty gas producing foods before flying and/or take an antacid. Ever here of Beano or Maalox? Use it. For those of you that are going to start screaming it is a medical problem, buy a pair of charcoal filter underwear. We do not want to inhale your foul smells.
7. Banging / Kicking the seat in front of you
Very irritating! Ok, maybe this his happening without you realizing it, but try to be aware of your leg movements against the seat in front of you. Every little kick and bang reverberate through the seat to the poor person unfortunate enough to be sitting in front of you.
6. Screaming, chattering, crying Children
No, most people do not hate children, they just do not want to listen to your child’s non-stop chatter / screaming / crying. Parents have a wonderful, built in ability to tune out their children as well as believing everyone finds their children as cute as they do, however, it is not cute when you need to sleep because you have been travelling for the past 36 hours or are trying to prepare for a business meeting. Please remember to prepare your children before the flight so they understand to be respectful and quiet. Sleeping pills might help – just kidding!
5. Intrusive Chatter
Hey Chatterbox, did it ever occur to you I am not your personal entertainment? Yes, I am held captive by this small space I am seatbelted into, but I do not appreciate the constant boring drone coming from your dragon breath mouth. If I am not part of your conversation, by my choice or yours, please STFU! Some hints may be my earphones / book / looking in the other direction / sleeping / asking you to shut up…
4. Hogging Overhead Bin Space
If you must bring your oversized carry-on, purse, computer bag, diaper bag, camera bag and medication bag, put some of it under your seat or stacked in the overhead. It is not fair that you think that overhead bin is for you. We know you! You race to the front of the boarding line to make sure you get to the bins first. Not nice!
3. Grabbing the seat in front of you to stand up and sit down
Use caution please. That handful of hair that you are walking away with is a result of not just grabbing the seat, but also the head of the person seated in front of you who was having a wonderful sleep until jolted awake by your rude intrusion.
2. Changing Clothes in the Washroom / Leaving it Dirty
Do not block the washrooms changing your clothes – it is not a change room. Some people would like to / need to relieve themselves before landing. You can change in the much roomier space of an airport washroom. Also, like the sign says, use your towel to wipe the sink area when finished and /or the toilet if you have made a mess.
1. The Fasten Seatbelt sign is International and Internationally ignored
I am not sure how illiterate travellers are today, but the majority seem to have extreme attention deficit in addition to vision and hearing problems. As soon as the plane touches the tarmac, the click of opening seatbelts begins. All the while, the fasten seatbelt light is still lit. Next, the voice of a flight attendant comes over the speaker system reminding people to remain seated and not remove seatbelts until the sign is off. This mad race only has these impatient idiots waiting for plane doors to open, sometimes wait for a bus to fill, then waiting to pass through customs and then waiting for luggage. Sit down and practise the regulations that have been put in place for the safety and comfort of you and your fellow travellers.